Five Love Languages
What is The 5 LOVE Languages?
It is an amazing book about relationships and how we express love that sold over 12 million copies written by Dr. Gary Champan.
Learning more about who you are, and who your partner is.
Now that you have decided to take the plunge and tie the knot, why not learn more about yourself and your partner through the way you both express your love.
Here are the brief summaries of each of the 5 Love Languages along with some practical Dos and Don’ts at the end:)
Words of affirmation
Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important – hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten. Kind, encouraging, and positive words are truly life-giving.
ACTION – Write notes, cards and letters! Have fun and be creative. Little doodles on notes, quick message on the chalk board or even a heart in the bathroom mirror.
COMMUNICATION – Lavish your partner with compliments and words of praise.
AVOID – Criticism, name calling and harsh words. Don’t be verbally mean to your partner!
This language isn’t all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is physical touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy, Hugs, pats on the back holding hands and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face they can all be ways to show excitement, concern , care and love, physical presence and accessibility are crucial , while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.
ACTION – Hugging, sitting close to your partner, resting a hand on a leg or shoulder and good old fashion hand holding works a treat:)
COMMUNICATION – Smile at your partner. No glaring or giving your partner the hairy eyeball
AVOID– Hitting, smacking and any form physical abuse. (This should go without saying!)
Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for. and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous so would be absence of everyday gestures.
ACTION- Remember special occasions, and even the not so momentous occasions. Small little tokens that celebrate the “day you first met” or the “day you fell in love” can be priceless and earn you mega brownie points.
COMMUNICATION – Not sure what your partner would like as a present, for goodness sakes, JUST ASK! An awesome wanted gift beats a mediocre surprise gift any day!
AVOID – Forgetting special events or putting little to no thought into a gift.
Acts of service
Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? absolutely! anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an Acts of service person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: Let me do that for you. Laziness broken commitments and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter.
ACTION – Help with chores and errand BEFORE you are asked.
COMMUNICATION – ASK “What can I do for You?” Look around and SEE what little things can be done around the home to make your partner’s life easier.
AVOID – Making your partner’s life more difficult. Pick up/ clean up after yourself. Do not add more chores on to your partner’s list of things to do by being inconsiderate and thoughtless.
In the vernacular of Quality time, nothing says, “i LOVE YOU”, like full, undivided attention, being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there with TV off, fork and knife down and all chores and tasks on standby makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful
ACTION – Doing things together! Taking walks, sitting, exercising or watching Netflix. Put your device down and enjoy each other’s company.
COMMUNICATION– TALK to one another. USE your words. Your partner is not a mind reader. Provide Undivided attention
AVOID – Do not ignore each other. Alone time is good, but so much so that you feel isolated from one another. Make the effort to create a bit of quality time for your partner even if you have a very busy schedule.
This book is jammed packed with common sense wisdoms. You will find that you should know the many pieces of advice and insights that Dr. Chapman has doled out. But it is always a good idea to be reminded of positive behaviour and to put our best selves forward for both ourselves and our partner.
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